I call in all the fierceness that ever was and is a part of my journey. I call on the aid of all the femmes that have done their makeup with me; the drag queens whose cinching always showed me that pretty does fucking hurt. I call upon the energy of every gender fluid being that has ever interacted with me and allow their energy to show me that we can make it.
As somebody who exists on the edge of a lifestyle I engage critically with my place in the world. As I learn to become myself I allow my ashes to form into a new being. This Phoenix I talk about is a daily process; she is the claiming of an identity being forged in time. In becoming the being made of fire I’m learning to see what parts of me need to continue growing so that I can confirm and affirm the person I’m forging ahead.
I think of employment as a part of this process. There are jobs that you will work in and then they’re are jobs you were meant for. I think of my job at the gym as one of these spaces that found me. Like a beacon I followed the lighthouse into my present sense – creating my now out of the many possibilities I could’ve taken.
To become a dance instructor I had to trust my body. I engaged in a way that was not there physically yet but rather was inspired action and creativity mended to forge a blade I was meant to yield. With both hands on my future I swung at the paradigms which crusaded my mind. To engage with space I became the listener, the enchanter, the wanderer.
This is where I am. Have you asked yourself where you are?
Piece from 9/30/2019, aka my 25th birthday.